|DIARY OF AN URBAN MILKMAID|
|I needed something to make the chronic depression and anger go away. We did try a lot of things to make the marriage work - we really did. And, we got so good at doing couples counseling, we could just go into a new therapist's office and start our routine - by heart! But, he resented me for standing up to him, and "ruining his life" by having a child he would have just as soon not have had, and I resented him for being the selfish a-hole that he is
It was just a bad marriage.
So, I decided to go back to college, to become a fancy, drug/alcohol counselor. I went to a very prestigious school, and got the best grades! It got me out of the house a couple nights a week. I was such a good student, my self esteem climbed. After school was over, I went to work counseling, and that was good for me too. I could DO something. I could be helpful to others. But, I still felt unloveable, unattractive, unfulfilled.
Then, I found myself in that danger zone like so many of us do. I met HIM. He pushed that button in me, and, it was on. I couldn't hear anything my friends told me, I couldn't see the future, and I couldn't say no. I was as near insane as I ever hope to be.
I left that husband, and I found myself an apartment, and that was bloody well it.
Of course, the big love affair fell apart - as they always do. My husband met his current wife just 9 days after I moved out, so he's happy - and we both dote on our child. It did become okay.
I've lived through an insane midlife crisis. And, to the outside world, it looked like I was throwing away "everything" - but, things are not always the way they appear, are they?
SLAY ON BUFFY!!
|Buh Bye! |
October 05, 2008
Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
One Last Bitchfest for the Road
Get the Popcorn Ready
I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
|Marriage is love.|