|DIARY OF AN URBAN MILKMAID|
|Crankiness compels me...
Last evening I visited the garden - oh, yeah, I didn't mention that the gopher returned... It was too humiliating - but, he returned, and so my farmer buddy and I set the trap again, and again, and again... I showed up each day, hoping to see a little furry butt hanging out of the trap, but, alas, no such luck. Last night, I made my rounds, and the trap was gone. So was my farmer buddy. I figured I would find out sooner or later if he caught the little guy. I bent down to admire one of my beeeeautiful purple flowers, and at my feet was the carcass of - you guessed it - my arch enemy, the gopher!
He was really good looking too (well, except for the broken neck and tooth baring grimace). He had a white belly, and light and dark brown markings. Well fed, glossy coat - nice organic meals make for a good looking rodent!
Anyway, I screamed so loud, I scared the Korean lady three plots down. She came running over, and we talked about the gopher and the fun we had trapping him. I put on my Playtex Living Gloves, brought forth the large trash bag, and scooped the gopher up with my spade (he kept falling out of it until I got the angle just right). I slammed him into the bag, tied a knot in it, and tossed his remains right into the dumpster. Not too distasteful.
Last night, I didn't sleep too well. Some "young people" have moved into the apartment below me. The don't completely grasp the specialness of their living quarters. They don't know how amazing it is to be awakened from sleep by an owl, hooting away in the tree right outside. Or to hear baby birds chirping all night. These new neighbors were having a wonderful time in their new home, beginning with the boogie-woogie piano playing at 11:15 p.m.... For this, I slammed open the sliding glass door, and stomped onto my balcony. Complete silence from below. I stomped back inside, and slammed the door shut. I had to calm myself down for about an hour after that. Just as I started falling asleep, they decided to take the party onto their balcony - where they laughed, squealed, gossiped and smoked their nasty cigarettes. I flew out of bed, threw the door open again, stomped outside and hollered IT'S MIDNIGHT!!!!. I looked down below, and a sweet-faced young thing looked up and said "oh, I'm sorry, was I being too loud?" to which I replied YEEEESSSSS!!!, turned on my heels, slammed the door shut and went back to bed. Slowing the heart thumping in my chest took another hour or so...
I'm tired and cranky. I still have to go to the Japanese market to get my farmer friend,and fellow gopher slayer a thank you gift.
SLAY ON BUFFY!!
|Buh Bye! |
October 05, 2008
Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
One Last Bitchfest for the Road
Get the Popcorn Ready
I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
|Marriage is love.|