The phone rang at work, and it was my former boyfriend. You know, the one who emotionally abused me for a year and a half, and cheated on me and lied and fucked with my head like it was a hobby?

Yeah, he called me, and we talked for hours, and he said he was sorry, so I told him it was all okay.

Then, I went to his house, and we had sex, and I asked him if maybe we should have used a condom, but he said he hadn't been with anyone else in the two years we've been apart. Then I loaned him $40. Gee I hope he calls again!

JUST KIDDING!! He did call me - He said hello, and I didn't really recognizing the voice on the other end of the phone. He identified himself. I asked if I could help him. He said he wanted to know if he could talk to me sometime. I said - now get this - "NO"!. He started to say something, but I interjected with "Well, goodbye!" and hung up the receiver.

I just loved that. Not only was it pleasant to reject him once again, it made me see how different I am now, from the way I was when I was seeing him. I used to just live for that phone call. Any little hint of affection he would toss my way would keep me going for days. When he would become distant, and the phone would just sit there - deafening in its silence - I would get all catatonic. Unable to live my life because I was waiting for him. And all the while, he was out there, playing the same bullshit with other women. Fucking them on the same sheets he fucked me on. And I put up with it...

The thing that is cool about that little phone call, is I knew in a heartbeat that I was no longer a woman who would put up with anything resembling that kind of shoddy behavior. I've been able, in the last two years of single-hood, to get into a relatively healthy relationship with me. I won't allow myself to be mistreated any longer. That is such a good thing to know!

"Life Not Worth Living If You Not Take Risk" Brian, QAF

May 14, 2002

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