We converged on Mimi's Cafe, and proceeded to annoy the other diners with our loudness. All six voices talking at the same time. Nobody listening to anybody else. My kidlet, who's been in self-imposed solitary confinement all summer, wouldn't stop blabbing to anyone and everyone, completely ignoring my discreet pats on her knee for quiet - my brother was even rolling his eyes. My nephew, who has just come into his own as a teen, is funnier than shit. Although, he kept banging the disposable camera on the table to get the flash to go off and startle us... At any rate, we were loud. At the end of the meal, I had developed an additional tick. I don't think my mom got more than a couple of words in. I'll have to call her later to find out how she felt the evening went off.

After dinner, the kidlet and I took a walk through the neighborhood. My body may be rebelling against me these days. It may have decided to hold on to each and every calorie I take in. It may be going through a "chubby" phase. But I'm not going to let that bother me one bit. I'm going to ignore it. I'm going to exercise and eat right, even though nothing on my body changes when I do. I'm going to take vitamins and drink plenty of fluids, because they say I should. I'm going to be healthy, and if my ass stays the same size as it is now - well, I'll just have to live with that.

I can't look at 25 year old women, and compare my 47 year old upper arms to theirs (and thank God that's all I'm comparing, huh?) When I was 25, those girls weren't a pimple on my disco queen ass! When I was 25, I could walk into any room and all the men's heads would turn and that's no lie. Now, I'm pushing 50 - sort of - and if I look at other pushing 50 women - I still look better than most of them. So, fuck it.

August 19, 2002