Night before last, as I was settling down to sleep, I heard some noise coming from the little street next to my apartment. You know the sound of a man's voice when he's up to no good? I can just tell when I hear it. And then, I heard something like a door of an automobile closing - but not exactly...

Yep. I heard a crime going on. Thought so. Somebody went through the cars that park on the little street by my apartment, and broke into the windows of a couple of them. Probably stealing stereos, and whatnot. I had that urge to get out of bed, and go out on the balcony to see, or stop whatever it was. But, I didn't, and crime happened right under me.

Last night - or, rather at 2 o'clock this morning, I was awakened by a woman screaming - sort of... I heard it, and then, I heard it again, so I DID get up and look outside. Across the street, a group of drunkards were getting into their cars to swerve home, when an argument broke out. Apparently, the drunk and screaming woman pissed off her boyfriend before she grabbed the keys to their SUV. She screeched down the street in reverse, before doing a very fine three-point turn and nearly running him over. I really should have called the cops, but I figured by the time they got here, the drunkards would have been long gone. I don't know if they killed anyone. I don't know if they got home okay. I did feel guilty for not stepping in though.

So - tonight, I'm settled in - watching "OZ" (naked Ryan O'Reilly and Killer-Keller's beutific smile, are like going to church for this old gal), and I hear these punks out on the parking lot, skateboarding. Disturbing to my "Oz" viewing, but nothing to get upset about. So, I'm concentrating on "Oz" and hearing the skateboarders, and "Oz", and skateboarders, and rocks being thrown at the scoreboard of the Little League field!!.

I got up. I went to the balcony. I watched and listened... What, I asked myself, is the point of throwing rocks at the back of a scoreboard????! Just throwing and throwing. And then, I got really pissed off, because these punk ass kids were making noise, disturbing MY "Oz" enjoyment, possibly damaging somebody elses property, and nobody in the apartment complex gave a shit about that but ME!!

So, I gathered up my ire, girded my loins, and took a deep breath..."HEY!!!!!! KNOCK IT OFFFFFF!!!!!" Oh, the joy I felt seeing those guys take off running! Hee!

Nobody fucks with me when I'm trying to perve out on some hot convicts, dammit!

September 21, 2002