|DIARY OF AN URBAN MILKMAID|
|Remember back in the day, when mothers and daughters would bond via apple pie baking, or quilting? Remember? Well, the times they are a changing...
Okay, I have to write this one down, because I hardly believe it myself.
We all remember that my 15-1/2 year old kidlet is taking Paxil for her depression and OCD. Everything is going sort of okay with the meds, but last week, she comes into the kitchen and announces "I've lost my orgasm"... Okay. Now, I recall reading that one of the side effects to Paxil might be "delayed orgasm", so I knew that was probably it. And even though I believe an orgasm is a person's God given right - I didn't know what to tell her. Except to mention it to her psychologist at her next appointment.
Well, she did...
And at the end of her session tonight, I was brought in, and informed by the psychologist that she needs to have a vibrator. Okay! I read somewhere that a woman can become accustomed to the strong vibe, and that in her future, no man will compare. I voiced my concern, and the psychologist assured me I had nothing to worry about, unless my kidlet started missing school to stay home and wank.
Sooooo. Instead of hitting our local Save-0n, I took the kidlet to the local Toy Store - where there's a front section - cute underwear, t-shirts, cards, penis shaped candies, etc. - and a back room for adults only, with the good stuff.
Actually, I was sort of embarrassed, because here I am, a middle-aged lady, looking at dildos, and assorted hootchie pleasure contraptions - You know, I didn't want anyone to think they were for ME...
The young male shopkeeper asked me if I found everything alright, and I confessed I was there for my kid - via the therapist. He seemed to understand, and brought out a host of brightly colored, different featured vibrating devices to my daughter, in the front of the store. The two of them discussed features and benefits, until she reached her decision. (A glow-in-the-dark, lime green thing with numerous attachements) I purchased the device and we headed home.
In the car, we both decided never to speak of this again. We're just going to pretend the "Vibrator Fairy" left it on her pillow...
|Buh Bye! |
October 05, 2008
Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
One Last Bitchfest for the Road
Get the Popcorn Ready
I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
|Marriage is love.|