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Something is eating at my craw. God that sounds medical, doesn't it? Doctor, my craw is all inflammed. Can I get a cream for it?

Anyway, last night, I saw that 7 people were in the chat room on my board, so I dropped in. My former "angry gay boyfriend" as I like to call him, was in the chat room - surrounded by his new bevy of Het-Chicks! I'm so jealous!

See, when I first met this guy on-line, he was the most angry, hateful guy I'd run across in a long time. He absolutely and rabidly despised heterosexuals. And especially heterosexual females. Well, I liked him, in spite of - or because of, his passionate distain for us. I read a lot of pain under that anger. Anyway, we managed over time, to develop a certain respect and friendship. We played "good cop/bad cop" with knuckleheaded newbies, and other thick-headed posters. It was a blast to do some educating. As things progressed, I got to watch him open up to other friends, and I witnessed those who had at one time, hated and feared him, begin to appreciate him the way I did.

I'm more than pleased that he's let down his guard. And I'm ecstatic that he's still doing such a wonderful job at reaching and teaching others. That's all good.

But I feel left out and tossed aside. And I would never admit that in a million years, because on my board, I'm one tough broad. But I got a big pang in my gut when I logged on to chat, and there he was, holding court with a bunch of freakin' Het-chicks.

There. I've said it.

May 10, 2003