I'm excited for her. She's never been on a plane, never been anywhere to speak of - hasn't seen her uncle Steve in a couple of years. I'm jealous in fact... But I'm also freaking out. Anxiety city, as I'm too afraid to fly without pharmaceuticals, and she's gonna spend nearly two days in the air...

I'm concentrating on the positive aspects to counter the anxiety. Not only will she have a BALL, I get to clothes shop for her trip! Woo Hoo! And I get to pack suitcases, which I love to do. It gives me a feeling of control, when I can make sure she's got EVERYTHING she needs - and I, I will have eight.days. of solitude and freedom. I can come and go as I please. I can listen to Country music without a lecture. I can eat popcorn for dinner if I want to!!!

I could have a one-night stand with a sailor!

Knowing how I used to react to Summer Camp, I'll probably just sit on the sofa watching television the whole time, but I could do anything!

July 24, 2003