You know how she always is selling those books now? She's changed her entire philosophy just so she can sell her latest book!

She and I go back a looooong way. Back to the old Bill Ballance days when she was a young, horny gal and I was just a kid.

I remember when she wrote her first book about stupid things women do to mess their lives up. Seemed like every phone call on her radio show was some stupid woman messing up her life! After a while, she got on the "My kid's mom" bandwagon and strangely enough, every call was from some really awful parent... Then she got ultra-orthodox religious. Yeppers. All the callers had "moral dilemmas" and whatnot, and she was invoking God every five minutes.

Well, now she's given up on religion, and her kid moved out of the house (no doubt somewhere his mom can't find him - I pray to West Hollywood or P-Town, but that's just me) - and now, she's selling a new book about how to care for and feed a husband. You guessed it. Nothing but really bad, evil wives who have wonderful husbands they abuse call her show...

I swear, a year ago, she would get a phone call from somebody contemplating a cross-country move which would take their child out of the usual school/neighborhood during the last year of high school and Dr. Laura would freakin' FLIP OUT over how damaging that would be to the child! She would instruct the parents to split up, with one moving and the other staying put until the kid was graduated. Last week, a caller was contemplating moving across the country because the hubby got a better job but the kid was still in school. The good "doctor" exclaimed that the husband was trying to PROVIDE for his FAMILY and for the caller to resist - well she was just a BAD, AWFUL WIFE!

I think Dr. Laura is a FRAUD and a scheister!

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Last year, I turned a member of our local school board over to my good friends at the ACLU. Seems he had photocopied a page from his church bulletin onto school district letterhead and mailed it to the other board members. I truly believed that was a Constitutional offense and I felt it was my civic duty to run him in (plus, I already had it out for this guy because he ran on a platform that went something like this: "Hello, I'm Joseph Banana, and I'm against PFLAG"...) Anyhoo, the ACLU wrote me back to say that although Mr. Banana had been unscrupulous, he hadn't violated any amendments.

Mr. Banana called my office today to RSVP for a function he'd been invited to. I answered the phone and talked with him about the function. Wow. As polite as I was, he didn't have a CLUE how close he'd come... Heh. Heh. Heh.

May 19, 2004