I spent a couple of hours today at work on line (not that that's any news). I was looking at the Albuquerque Journal archives of obituaries to see if my former boyfriend was dead yet.

It comforts me.

He's the reason I continue to have an unlisted phone number, and when I move, I only let my creditors know where I am going.

I guess if you have to make a big-assed screw up - picking a drug addict to fall in love with is a really keen choice. I mean, an ACTIVE drug addict - not one of us recovering types.

Well, anyway, when I met up with this character, he was in a sort of forced sobriety - never a good idea - It was either rehab or jail, so he picked rehab. And, when he was clean, he was very appealing. Still wild - something I was not used to - having recently been married with suburban house, kiddie, mini-van etc., this guy would do ANYTHING! And he was completely obsessed with me. His desire was overwhelming... His skin was brown. His eyes were black and the only place in this world he wanted to be was inside me. Yessir. Very appealing.

But, as I mentioned, forced sobriety is not usually a successful long-term arrangement. So, overnight it seemed, he changed into somebody I had never met. And I had my head too far up my ass to show him the curb. So, evil things began happening at my house. Craziness ensued. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Anyway, he's been gone from us for over 4 years now. He can't find me. And I check periodically to see if he's dead.

It is comforting.


May 11, 2001

Buh Bye!
October 05, 2008

Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
September 01, 2008

One Last Bitchfest for the Road
August 24, 2008

Get the Popcorn Ready
July 17, 2008

I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
June 20, 2008

previous next
Marriage is love.

hosted by DiaryLand.com