To Whomever Stole My Car Stereo:

It creeps me out that you were touching my things. I feel violated and gross. I need to wash my car right away, tomorrow to get your theiving goo off my stuff.

I only hope you are able to purchase enough crack with my stereo to give you some kind of horrible health problem, (think heart attack) or at least some more brown or missing front teeth.

I guess you couldn't tell by looking, but the stereo was in some sorry-assed shape. The radio only got the signal part of the time. Oops! Retail value for crack trading is going waaay down.

I have a gold card.

I went right away, so as not to have to see the big, ugly hole you left in my dash, to Best Buy. They were kind to me. They pointed out the best stereo value (one I hadn't seen in my state). I upgraded from a cassette player to a CD player with really cool blue lights! Then, a cute Mark McGrath look-alike installed it for me really cheap.

And, even though that's all good, I'm still traumatized by your rude, selfish, lazy, criminal act upon me and my car.

I believe in Karma. You should too, because yours is really, really bad right now. Sucks to be you.

SLAY ON BUFFY! (even tho you are surely dead - I have faith in you!!)

May 25th 2001

Buh Bye!
October 05, 2008

Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
September 01, 2008

One Last Bitchfest for the Road
August 24, 2008

Get the Popcorn Ready
July 17, 2008

I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
June 20, 2008

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