When I hear friends talk about their family members, aunts, uncles, grandparents - It's hard for me to relate. I mean, I have or have had, all those components, but I really don't have any feelings about them. Grandparents are gone, uncles are gone, cousins too probably, but I never feel anything about them when they die. And when my friends grieve over an aunt or a grandparent, I don't know what that is.

I've had friends pass, and I get very sad about it. I still feel pain over my friend Marilyn who died last year. I know what that is. And the very idea of losing my child sends me into blackness.

So, maybe it's the way my family was, and the way I was raised to think of them. It makes really good sense to me if I put it into the context of how we are with each other now, and how totally weird my mom is. Maybe she didn't all of a sudden get that way. Maybe she was always a psycho, and I just never noticed it until recently.

It is interesting, that when I was growing up, I was always told that my dad was the problem parent (and believe me, he had problems...), but, the therapists I have seen, ALL want to talk about my mom. I used to think they were focusing on the wrong one. Hmmmmm...

I'll think about it tomorrow, back at Tara.


June 17, 2001

Buh Bye!
October 05, 2008

Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
September 01, 2008

One Last Bitchfest for the Road
August 24, 2008

Get the Popcorn Ready
July 17, 2008

I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
June 20, 2008

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