When I was 18 years old, the boy I loved, came to my house one night, and told me it was over between us. Just like that. He had found another. I was caught off guard, devistated, grief sticken. I existed, with a crushing pain in my chest, which I now know to be heartache, for the next three months. I can't remember seeing color during that time. Only shades of grey. I couldn't have imagined a time when I wouldn't be in that pain.

But, it passed. God bless time.

Nowadays, since I know that time changes things, I get a kick out of looking back and being amazed at what I never expected to be doing now.

When I was 18, I never imagined I would ever be in love again - let alone three more times!

When I was 22, and impoverished to the point of being afraid to open my mailbox for fear of the bill collectors who were after me - I never would have imagined the ability to straighten out my finances and pay off my bills (but I've done that now, 3 or 4 times...)

When I was 27, single, and with no prospects, I couldn't have imagined I would be getting married, and having that wedding I had been planning since I was 10 - but I did get married, and my wedding was fabulous! (the marriage? Not so good..)

I certainly never imagined that my much abused body could produce a perfectly beautiful little person. And, I get to play the "couldn't imagine" game with each milestone she crosses.

And, I just never could have imagined, ten and a half years ago - when I would drink myself unconscious each and every night, and awake, sick and miserable each and every morning - that I could go even one day without drinking. Couldn't imagine it. But I do.

Time changes things. God bless time.

SLAY ON BUFFY!!

August 9, 2001

Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
September 01, 2008

One Last Bitchfest for the Road
August 24, 2008

Get the Popcorn Ready
July 17, 2008

I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
June 20, 2008