My clutch remains un-replaced. I went into a transmission shop yesterday and inquired as to the "worst-case" scenerio - total replacement. The answer was $600. You know, that is such b.s.! I spent HALF that amount, not 4 years ago. I'm getting some second and third opinions before I plunk down that kind of dough. I have such an aversion to car repair people. I have been financially raped several times in my life by smiling, uniformed men - calling me "dear", giving me the bad news. They know I have little understanding about cars. My fault, sure. There's nothing stopping me from learning. However, that doesn't excuse them from screwing me either!

Today, I have my car in the shop for brakes. It does need brakes. However, the mechanic called to inform me that not only does it need the front brakes I knew about - it also needs back brakes! Of course, I was immediately suspicious of that news. It does have 97,000 miles on it - so, it is probable that I do need them - so I'm getting the back ones done today - since they are reportedly worse, and having the fronts done next week, when I have more money, and a clearer head. Aaargh!


I got a phone call from one of my sponsee's last night. She hasn't called in a couple of weeks. I knew why. That homeless, former heroin addict is back in the picture. She had to throw him out again, and she was crying over how cruel she felt about doing it. Hello?? The Rent Money??? Did he suddenly come up with $1500? I didn't think so...

And, my other sponsee - the one with the married boyfriend - she broke it off with him - for 3 whole days! His wife called her, and they met for a few hours to bond - my sponsee was even planning to attend some Alanon meetings with the wife - (ohmygod!) and then, HE sweet-talked his way back in. Now, she's got 100% more drama! I have to fight my own sick impulse to jump in the middle of that situation, and call her to find out the latest - but, the small part of my brain that functions on a healthy level says to stay away completely. This relationship of theirs has a dynamic all its own. They are volunteering to be in it - including the wife - and I don't need to be dragged in as well. In my opinion, their whole deal isn't based on the great love they declare for each other - it's based on a sick need for drama. She gave up drinking - now she's replacing it with this stuff. And, I can say that with good authority, because I've done it myself! In sobriety, I got involved in one of those "bigger than the both of us" relationships with a BAD HOMBRE! The passion was thick enough to cut with a knife. We were sick with it. We destroyed two families because of it. We were hopelessly in love with each other...

No we weren't. We were just two incredibly sick and bored individuals - desperately in need of some drama. After I got the man into my house full time - I couldn't wait to get him out. He was lazy, he was a liar, and he watched cartoons 24/7. After a while, I couldn't stand the sight of him. And, he just wanted to be with me because I fed him, fucked him, and gave him a bed to sleep in.

So, although I think my two girls are as dumb as posts - I can totally relate. I only hope they work through this stuff soon - for their sakes, as well as my own nervous system...


September 01, 2001

Buh Bye!
October 05, 2008

Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
September 01, 2008

One Last Bitchfest for the Road
August 24, 2008

Get the Popcorn Ready
July 17, 2008

I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
June 20, 2008

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Marriage is love.

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