Dear Brian Robbins:

Tonight, my daughter and I went to see your new film, "Hardball". - Well, we didn't start out to see it, we wanted to watch "Training Day" with Denzel Washington - he's so fine - but, there were so many Gangstas in line, we sort of expected gunfire to erupt at any time. We opted for your film because it started at the same time as the one we really wanted to see.

I am writing this letter, to advise you that if there is any way on God's green earth, to have you nominated for Best Director at this year's Academy Awards - I will get it done.

I eventually would have watched "Hardball" at some point - I see all movies featuring Keanu Reeves - because he's so GOT-DAMN good looking. Let's face it. Michaelangelo could not have created anything remotely as beautiful as Keanu. God himself is having trouble doing a better job. But, I digress. You deserve the Oscar for one reason. You made Keanu ACT! Even the great Francis Ford Coppola couldn't do that (did you see Dracula? Bleh!) In "Hardball", our boy Keanu was on Fire! He was lively, he emoted, he made me cry!

Mr. Robbins, I believe a grassroots campaign is in order. Without the support of theater-goers everywhere, you will surely be overlooked this year. You have done far too great a service to the American public for such a slight to occur.

Thank you sir, and God bless you!!


I am having daily Hawk encounters. This morning, I heard the shrill call I am becoming familiar with, and I ran out to see what was up. There was that Hawk again, sitting high in my tree, calling out to someone, or something. Just shrieking away. His back was toward me, and I sat in my porch chair, with my neck getting a crick in it, and spiders crawling on me (my head was in one of my tall plants...) until he flew away. He caught a breeze, and circled the building with his wings outstretched. He has an amazing design on the underside of those wings. Anyway, he circled and circled, each time getting higher up, and farther away. Then, I saw something really cool. Another Hawk was up there, flying with him! Was it a sibling? A mate? A friend? Two Hawks, circling and circling on the same breeze. Probably having the time of their lives.

Later this afternoon, one of them - I think it was a female - she was like a Godzilla bird compared to the crows flying around her - was sitting in my tree again. I was wondering if the baby bird noises I hear all night long might just be Hawk babies and not Crow babies. I did go on line for a little research. The tree is the right height for a Hawk nest, but according to the site I was looking at, it's not the right month for Hawk babies. I guess they were just staking out a nice Crow Buffet. I honestly don't mind if they pick off every last one of those Crow babies - just as long as they keep coming back to my tree.


October 06, 2001

Buh Bye!
October 05, 2008

Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
September 01, 2008

One Last Bitchfest for the Road
August 24, 2008

Get the Popcorn Ready
July 17, 2008

I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
June 20, 2008

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