My niece, let's call her Marisa, is 15 years old. She's got her own set of troubles. Mom (Jackie) is a reformed slut, drug addict, alcoholic. Now she's become a member of an ultra-right-wing Christian "cult" church. She is married to an asshole I've know for a few years. Let's call him Don, shall we? When I first met Don, I was at an AA meeting. Don was married to Barbara, and Jackie was married to my brother. I soon found out that Don was the local 12-step lothario. He'd been married a bunch of times to women he'd managed to pick up in meetings. Before sobriety, I'll bet he used to drink with my dad... He's in his late '60s to Jackie's 30 something. When they got together, he was probably late '50's and she was 20 someting. Eeeeew!

My brother and Jackie's marriage hit the skids - not entirely her fault, I will give her that - but during the last gasps of it - she took some comfort in those whizzened arms of Don's.

Now, of course - she's completely forgotten her past. My brother says she's become a virgin again. She and Don have a "conviction" to "The Lord".

Well, that's nice. Except for poor Marisa, who has nobody to talk to, and self-esteem problems up the wazoo.

Marisa has a crush on some loser at school. You know, the boy with the bleached hair, works at the pizza parlor, smokes pot and has a wicked sense of humor. Marisa has been using all her 15 year old wiles on this kid. Finally, he reacted... He grabbed her ass. Of course, she didn't deck the jerk. It was as if he'd kissed her, or had asked her to the prom. I'll bet she hasn't washed that butt cheek yet.

Now, my kidlet was appalled. (YAY!) She was trying to convince her cousin that this was a bad way to get validation from a guy. Since Marisa feels like she's finally a woman or something, she's not going to listen to her geeky cousin. She also told the kidlet to tell me what happened, but not to tell her mom or dad. Sheesh! And, get this... Two friends came up to her, and asked her, since this kid grabbed her ass, was she going to have sex with him... Whaaaaa? Has it become this casual? Doesn't he even have to buy her a burger first????

I'm going to have to sit down with her, and explain to her that just because this dreamboat finds her attractive, it doesn't mean he's going to want to share a romantic dinner, listen to her stories, run through the rain, or hold her when she cries. It means exactly what is seems to mean. And if she doesn't draw a line in the sand, he's going to be grabbing a whole lot more than just her ass.

Women! Is this where it starts? If we don't catch ourselves at this tender age, do we continue being stupid our whole lives??

Bah!

January 17, 2002

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