Digital cable! Woo hoo! Last night, Soap Net re-broadcast the wedding of Luke and Laura on General Hospital. The one from 1981! The BIG wedding! I brought my television set to work for those two days of wedded bliss. Gosh, it was great to see all those characters - looking young again. Damn you Queer As Folk! These people have been writing this show for over 20 years, and the characters have remained the same - and the stories have developed in a logical fashion. 20 plus years! You dolts can't even make it through one season! But, I digress...
I got to thinking about my life in 1981. I was 26 years old. Boyfriend-less at the time. Working all by myself in an office in Palos Verdes. Drinking at lunch (imported beer, so I didn't think it was necessarily a bad thing...) At any rate, who would have thunk it, but checking the dates for the wedding broadcast - exactly 5 years to the day - I would be already married, and knocking myself up! (did I tell you that story?) Well very quickly, because I have to get in the shower soon - on November 22, 1986 - my husband and I were screwing on the sofa. I wanted to get up and put in the old diaphragm, because husband didn't want a baby. He's all "don't worry about it, I'll pull out" - and, he did. So after it was over, I went to the loo to wash up - and there it was. A big ol' glob of baby making goop - right there on my leg. I looked around to make sure nobody was watching, hooked a bunch of it on my middle finger and - well, I don't need to give the medical details of that one - I'm sure you can imagine it. Nine months later, the kidlet came screaming into this world.
Now, I've spoken to physicians and nurses who do insemination procedures for a living. They have assured me that what I did was impossible. I couldn't have made a baby by shoving jizzim in me with a middle finger, so I needn't feel guilty. But you and I know differently, don't we? "Life Not Worth Living If You Not Take Risk" Brian, QAF
July 01, 2002 |
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