DIARY OF AN URBAN MILKMAID


PROFILE GUESTBOOK OLD OLDER OLDEST
Digital cable! Woo hoo!

Last night, Soap Net re-broadcast the wedding of Luke and Laura on General Hospital. The one from 1981! The BIG wedding! I brought my television set to work for those two days of wedded bliss. Gosh, it was great to see all those characters - looking young again. Damn you Queer As Folk! These people have been writing this show for over 20 years, and the characters have remained the same - and the stories have developed in a logical fashion. 20 plus years! You dolts can't even make it through one season! But, I digress...

I got to thinking about my life in 1981. I was 26 years old. Boyfriend-less at the time. Working all by myself in an office in Palos Verdes. Drinking at lunch (imported beer, so I didn't think it was necessarily a bad thing...) At any rate, who would have thunk it, but checking the dates for the wedding broadcast - exactly 5 years to the day - I would be already married, and knocking myself up! (did I tell you that story?) Well very quickly, because I have to get in the shower soon - on November 22, 1986 - my husband and I were screwing on the sofa. I wanted to get up and put in the old diaphragm, because husband didn't want a baby. He's all "don't worry about it, I'll pull out" - and, he did. So after it was over, I went to the loo to wash up - and there it was. A big ol' glob of baby making goop - right there on my leg. I looked around to make sure nobody was watching, hooked a bunch of it on my middle finger and - well, I don't need to give the medical details of that one - I'm sure you can imagine it. Nine months later, the kidlet came screaming into this world.

Now, I've spoken to physicians and nurses who do insemination procedures for a living. They have assured me that what I did was impossible. I couldn't have made a baby by shoving jizzim in me with a middle finger, so I needn't feel guilty. But you and I know differently, don't we?

"Life Not Worth Living If You Not Take Risk" Brian, QAF

July 01, 2002

Buh Bye!
October 05, 2008

Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
September 01, 2008

One Last Bitchfest for the Road
August 24, 2008

Get the Popcorn Ready
July 17, 2008

I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
June 20, 2008



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Marriage is love.

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