DIARY OF AN URBAN MILKMAID


PROFILE GUESTBOOK OLD OLDER OLDEST
Will there be pteradactyls? Unicorns? Maybe I'll open my blinds one morning, and a giraffe will be nibbling on my tree... Yesterday, I was enjoying my morning coffee on the balcony, watching for the falcons - when two of the most gigantic (seriously scary) white birds came flying towards me from the flood channel. At first, I thought they were seagulls - until I got a load of how nightmarishly large they were! Except for the bill, I coulda sworn they were pelicans! HUGE, I tell ya!

As far as I can tell from my reseach, these two mammoths were Snow Geese. Snow Geese?????? In Southern California????? Apparently, they hang out here too.

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I'm pleased to note that my former husband's new bride is even stupider than I was. She didn't marry him because her biological clock was ticking. She didn't marry him because she was a drunkard. She already had a career and a home of her own. She married a man who was already a professional musician - who just happened to work at an aerospace company. I married a man who worked at an aerospace company - who just happened to play bass in a blues band...

Now, apparently, she would like him to change everything about himself, get a job doing something during the day, stop being a filthy slob, and quit persuing his music so hard. She is troubled that he resists her. Good Luck Sister!

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My biggest concern today, is whether or not I should fork over $24 for a "Swifter". That, and where I'm going to put the Christmas tree, when its usual spot is currently being occupied by that damned Brenda Dygraff walking machine I bought from the Home Shopping Network. Oh sure! Store it easily under the bed! Um - I sleep on a pile of rags in the front room... Maybe I'll put some tinsel on it - and a red bow. Waaaaaaa!

December 01, 2002

Buh Bye!
October 05, 2008

Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
September 01, 2008

One Last Bitchfest for the Road
August 24, 2008

Get the Popcorn Ready
July 17, 2008

I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
June 20, 2008



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