|DIARY OF AN URBAN MILKMAID|
|Well. I got some good news today. My dunderklumpin ex husband told me our daughter's health insurance ran out at the end of March. So I've been driving myself crazy, trying to get "Bow-wing" Aircraft to send my HR department that information, so's I can get the kidlet signed on to my insurance plan at work. To the tune of $180 per month, thank you very much. Good thing I stashed my tax refund into a savings account, so I have the money for nearly a year. Plus, I had to find psychiatrists and psychologists who were on both plans, because I didn't want to change after just a short time. Blah blah blah.
At any rate, Bow-Wing called and first told me her insurance didn't run out in March, but it was end of October. But they'd have to call me back to confirm. End of October? Woo Hoo! Next day, they called back and said, No. Not end of October. End of July. Hmmmmmm. I smelled a rat, but it was still better than what I had originally thought, so I just thanked them and that was that. Today, I get a phone call from Bow-Wing. They were faxing a note to my HR department, but the date is October 31st again! (I guess they had second thoughts about trying to fudge on the dates, huh?) Woo Hoo! October! That means, I don't have to start panicking for a long time!
We've had a problem with ants recently. I suppose it's the rain and wind we've experienced. It's unsettled the little bastards. Every day, it's a new ant attack. Sunday, I spent a good part of my afternoon, emptying and washing out my cupboard. This morning, there were ants crawling in a thick black line up the wall of my kitchen. Do you know what is a fabulous ant killer? Orange Clean! It burns them, and leaves a fresh scent. Anyway, I killed a bunch of ants this morning, and when we came home - there was a black, moving trail of ants from my window, all along the wall - right up by the ceiling, across the dining room, through the kitchen, around and over the sink, down the cupboard and across the counter. THERE WASN'T EVEN ANY FOOD! So, I brought out the big guns. The RAID. I blasted those little ants until the whole room was foggy! Of course, afterwards I had to find a way to climb up and wipe dead ant carcasses off my wall... I used a fresh pad on the Clor0x Ready M0p (do you ladies know, you're scrubbing your floors with a Kotex?) - and scraped my walls clean. I can't wait to find out what those little fucks have in store for me tomorrow...
Oh yeah. While we're on the subject of gross stuff - Why is it, that in every company, there is a woman who refuses to observe the toilet seat for drips and sprays, after she's done using it?
We have a speed-pee'r at my office. I know who she is, because I've been in the next stall when she's doing her thing. She rushes in. Doesn't use the safety paper. Pees really fast. Flushes. Bangs out the stall door. Doesn't wash her hands. Flies out of the bathroom. And leaves the seat a soggy mess in the process.
I take diuretics, so when I have to go, I have to go. I can never make it home without a pit-stop before leaving. It never fails that she's been in there just before me, and I have to wipe up her mess... Tonight, you could have floated goldfish in the spillage! I refused to be her maid! I hurried out of the office and peed at my mom's house.
HR is great about putting up signs in the ladies loo. "Don't leave your hair on the floor" "Don't flush tampons" "No Smoking" "Wash your hands" (I swear, that's a sign) I'm going to get them to put a BIG sign. "Don't piss on the toilet seat!"
|Buh Bye! |
October 05, 2008
Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
One Last Bitchfest for the Road
Get the Popcorn Ready
I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
|Marriage is love.|