We listened to the sirens as we ran the dog, and after, I walked around the corner to see if I could get the story. No story, except there were about 10 cop cars, a fire engine, an ambulance and yellow, caution-tape blocking the street. None of the bystanders knew anything yet. I'll have to ask out by the pool tomorrow, because if it doesn't make the evening news (and with Kobe's troubles - what else does?..) I may never know. Our local paper has a strict policy. There is NO crime in our town! Seriously. None. It's never reported here. Fascists! All of 'em!

******************************************

Talked to my evil mother today. She asked if I had any "feedback" over my ex-fuckhead signing the legal papers. I said I hadn't asked, but I assumed he just signed them and left. She told me she was glad he was out of our lives, and that the kidlet didn't have to "put up with" him any longer. I told her that the kidlet and her father would be attending counseling together, to fix their relationship. My mother said "Oh! Reeeaaaallly?!" Like that was the worst thing in the world...

My ex-husband is a serious psycho. He's got issues on his issues. He's an asshole and a jerk, extraordinaire. But he's my daughter's father. She has known and loved him her whole life. Even though she's mightily pissed off at him - and for good reasons - she needs to try and have a relationship with him. I don't like it, but I know it's necessary for her complete development. All I wanted was to protect her from him so he couldn't legally fuck her up out of spite or whatever. My mother, on the other hand, would just as soon leave a void in her granddaughter's life - because she believes that men are for shit, and pretty much useless. My mother is a bitter old woman, who raised a screwed up daughter (me) and I swear to God - I won't do the same to mine! Grrrrr!

July 19, 2003