With all the death-defying stuff that's going on in my life right now, it seems rather ironic that I was nearly killed on an escalator at the mall this afternoon.

Two complete moron women hauled their wheelchair bound mother onto the escalator, and I didn't see what they'd done until we were half way up...

Of course, I watched in horror, as they set the front wheels down just a half-second too soon, and jammed her chair into the top of the escalator. She stopped moving, but WE didn't. I rammed right into her, and the people behind me rammed into me. We could have all been injured. One of the moron twins said - "well, the elevator wasn't working", and as I passed by I snarled "Yeah. Because there're no elevators in any of the DEPARTMENT STORES".


The kid has her contact lenses. Gosh, they gave her a pair to try for a week and a free bottle of cleaning solution. She couldn't get one of them out this evening, and I got tired of hearing her whining, so I sat her down on the toilet, grabbed her head, jammed her eyelid open and pulled that sucka out myself. She got the other one out...

I Advantaged the pets. They're not speaking to me now.

November 01, 2003

Buh Bye!
October 05, 2008

Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
September 01, 2008

One Last Bitchfest for the Road
August 24, 2008

Get the Popcorn Ready
July 17, 2008

I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
June 20, 2008

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