|DIARY OF AN URBAN MILKMAID|
|Where do I begin?
Arrived with car full of gifts and food preparations at brother's house approximately 12:30 p.m.. It was pouring-ass rain.
Began food cookage in relative serenity of kitchen. Much hollering and whooping could be heard coming from living area.
Deep fried turkey arrived from chef next door. It was rubbery and tasted like corned beef for some reason, perhaps due to chef being more than a little intoxicated...
My brother attempted his usual Christmas day pop-psyche and guilt tripping of our mother.
Punk and hip-hop music was played at full volume during Christmas dinner and a wrestling match ensued, complete with ice packs - between brother and 15 year old son.
Immediately afterwards, coffee was poured and pie was served.
I come from the only family on earth - where it goes like this: "Do you want to take left overs home?" "NO!!! JUST LEAVE IT, KIDS! LEAVE IT!! OKAY! BYE BYE!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS! NO! NO PIE FOR US! JUST LEAVE IT! I'LL BE BACK FOR MY PANS TOMORROW! WE'VE GOT TO GO! BYE!!!!!!!" Sounds of car engine gunning and tires screeching on street
We were outta there by 3:30.
|Buh Bye! |
October 05, 2008
Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
One Last Bitchfest for the Road
Get the Popcorn Ready
I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
|Marriage is love.|