|DIARY OF AN URBAN MILKMAID|
|The woman who sits next to me went to court for her divorce this morning. I've been helping her with some of it, because - she's sort of an idiot. (As in, if I hadn't told her, she wouldn't have taken her paperwork to court - you know, simple stuff like that)
Listen to this...
She's 43 years old. Her soon to be ex is 51. They have three kids, 10, 9 and 6. Since the first kid was born, the husband has been a stay-at-home dad, and she's gone to work as an executive assistant - mostly because she had a steady job with health benefits. He was some sort of process server, or something to do with lawyers - and he worked mostly under the table.
Anyhoo, as it happens, she came down with a massive case of midlife crisis, decided she wasn't "happy" in her marriage and promptly filed for divorce. Well, that's sort of how it happened. Mostly, she discovered how unhappy she was, after taking up with her personal trainer from the gym...
Okay. She decides to do her own divorce, because she's not made of money. She takes the free classes offered at the court house and learns how to fill out the paperwork. She and her soon to be ex, decide to keep the house and defer the sale until the kids are grown. He gets to live in it. With the kids. She will find an apartment and have visitation. She will pay child support AND he's asking for spousal support. She will date the trainer and be free of all coming home-type responsibilities.
Her soon to be ex, will sit on his MBA degree'd ass all day, and eat bon-bons.
She thought this was a fair trade.
Well, about a week ago, she finally figured out that she wasn't going to be able to afford a cardboard box to live in, if she continued this silly dream of an arrangement. I suggested that she might be able to reduce her child support obligations - not to mention her freakin' spousal support obligations if she requested a 50/50 custody arrangement. Not only for financial reasons, but because she's really, REALLY going to regret giving up custody of her children after the sexual frenzy of midlife crisis fades. And silly or not, the kids will need contact with her, because she's their mom. She thought this was a good idea too.
At the manditory mediation, she brought up her new idea to the husband. He didn't like that at all, and tried to convince her what a bad affect 50 percent custody would have on her social life. They came to no agreement, and left the final decision up to the judge.
Today, she went to court, and called me after she was through.
Apparently, the judge didn't like the idea of 50/50 custody. He didn't want to wrench the children from their home and the care of their father, even for two weeks out of the month.
The case was continued, because the judge wants her to move out of the home before they go any further! She's still living there, because someone told her that if she moved out, her soon to be ex could point to that and call it abandonment. Now the judge is ordering her to leave...
In a way, I feel bad for her. She's going to miss her children in the long run. But then again, I find it difficult to wrap my head around a mother choosing "freedom" over her children.
I only hope she doesn't find a way to blame me for any of this!
|Buh Bye! |
October 05, 2008
Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
One Last Bitchfest for the Road
Get the Popcorn Ready
I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
|Marriage is love.|