These are the times that try moms' souls...

Out of the clear blue sky, the kidlet tells me that she's been invited to have lunch with the kids who smoke "weed".... Huh??? She made up her mind that she was going to check them out over lunch. I considered my options, and decided I didn't have any. If I told her she was absolutely forbidden to have lunch with any of the slime-bucket kids who smoke weed, she'd probably just rebel, and have lunch with them, and begin keeping secrets from her mother. Hmmmm. Okay. Lunch it is.

I hoped and hoped she would hate the whole experience. She called me after school to let me know that one of the kids was smoking weed at lunch, on the school grounds - from a fucking BONG!!!

I quickly ran the "homeschooling scenerio" through my head, and found my finances lacking. I completely freaked out. I did. I'm ashamed of myself for not instantly becoming Cliff Huxtable and having an easy answer for this considerable problem. I started sounding exactly like my own mother. It was pitiful, really.

Anyway, over dinner at Wahoo's Fish Tacos (too freaked out to cook) we talked about things. Here's something I learned. When I, as a mother, panic and tell my child that I'm extremely freaked out about her association with these scumbucket kids, it's because I see my baby playing on a railroad track, with a train whistle in the distance. She hears "I don't trust you, and I think you are going to do drugs". So, we talked some more. I think her intentions are honorable, but I still have to disuade her from hanging out with these losers. (Oh, yeah. I know lots of kids smoked dope in high school and did fine. But for every one kid that ended up okay, there are 5 idiot, burn-outs who didn't, okay???). I also made her watch "Traffic" with me, and I sikked her drug-burnout dad on her too. I forewarned him that the subject might come up, and he should be brutally honest with her about his entire experience - which incidentally did involve a padded cell.

I was feeling pretty good about things until she called me to tell me what a horrible day she had today. Her friends ignored her. The good Christian kids in her English class were making fun of her for her Pagan beliefs. A kid in her PE class yelled at her. And, her new weed smoking girlfriend, Jessica wasn't there - because she had ditched school after 2nd period. Fuck!!!!!

I used to look really young for my age. I think that's all over now.

Oh yeah. Here's Juliette Landau, with whom I've pee'd.

Isn't she precious? I'll bet she never smoked weed in high school...

October 09, 2002

Buh Bye!
October 05, 2008

Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
September 01, 2008

One Last Bitchfest for the Road
August 24, 2008

Get the Popcorn Ready
July 17, 2008

I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
June 20, 2008

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