Shit! I can't even plan a good mental breakdown without somebody screwing with it!

It all started at 4:30 this morning. 4:30 seems to be the time I wake up during stressful events. It's not that I mind waking up at 4:30, it's just that I can't go back to sleep. And after a while, with my head running over the same annoying thoughts and images, I notice my body is so tense, my shoulder is completely off the pillow. I can't get back to sleep.

4:30 this morning, I'm wide awake and twitching. I have a cat's tail in my nose, because he's sleeping on the pillow too. Another cat is trying to get me to pet her. Threw her ass off the bed...

I hear rain outside the window. Shit. I have to walk the dog in the rain! Mental Health Day!!! I get to sleep again, by reminding myself I'm having a mental breakdown, and I can be in a semi-catatonic state - like I was yesterday, on a rainy day. Zzzzzzzzzz...

Of course, I wake up again at 7:30 - with a start, because one of my customers needs something by noon, Atlanta time. I frantically think of somebody's extension number so I can get the information read to me, and then go into my office email from home - copy the file - fill in the info, and email it back to them, with a copy to the Chicago office... Got it! Done.

Until I check my voice mail. My boss wants me to do a spec sheet for another customer, and send her samples for photography this morning. They're finalizing a catalog page and need this ASAP. Stupid customers. Don't they realize that some of us need mental breakdown days???????

So, I called my boss in Michigan and told him I'd be in for a few minutes to send the spec sheet and samples. I rawk. The rest of the day is mine to recover my sanity as best as I can.


For the majority of yesterday, I lay on the sofa recouperating from my deep tissue massage. It's not like everything hurt. Just a couple of spots. But I felt like I'd been rode hard and put up wet. Just exhausted from deep inside. Could have been the stress. Could have been the masssage. Who knows. I was worn out!

Until 8 p.m., when I took the dog for a walk. Or rather, a run! I couldn't believe it. Her I am. Chubby, out of shape, 48 year old lady. Running full-tilt down the street. I'm so glad it was dark outside. Anyway, we ran and walked and ran and walked, until both of us were spent. It felt sooooo good! I haven't run since I've lived here. Now, I can't wait to go again. But not tonight. No. Tonight I have to rest my poor calf muscles. 'Cause they're a hurtin'!

Well, I'm off to suffer my mental breakdown now.

April 14, 2003

Buh Bye!
October 05, 2008

Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
September 01, 2008

One Last Bitchfest for the Road
August 24, 2008

Get the Popcorn Ready
July 17, 2008

I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
June 20, 2008

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