|DIARY OF AN URBAN MILKMAID|
|This evening, the kidlet and I walked over to our neighborhood spaghetti house for a plate of pasta and a good time.
See, I figure since I'm gaining about a pound a day from eating healthfully, an enormous meal of carbs and sodium should be completely fine - if I walk the quarter mile back home after. Yeah. Just the ticket, right there... At this rate, I'll be weighing in at two bills in no time! What was I thinking???
Anyway, things didn't turn out quite as we had hoped. There was a gigantic birthday party going on, so the wait staff was a bit more flustered than usual (high school kids work there) - and things took a long time to arrive at the table. However, our waitress did apologize for the delay - which I thought was a nice touch.
So, we're waiting, and waiting, and running out of conversation - when a woman walks by the table, and lets loose with the most horrific silent-but-deadly fart! It was the kind of fart that had been festering insider her colon for days... I'm certain there was photographic evidence of a thick, green fog in the vicinity of our table. We actually pulled the collars of our t-shirts up over our noses and mouths for about 5 minutes so we could breathe... Sweet mother of god...
I haven't done my housework yet. Place is still a sty.
We ended up going to the bookstore, so I could pick up a pack of tarot cards and a book on how to read them. I read cards a lot about 5 years ago. Then, I realized it's all bunk and threw them away. However, one of my former bosses has hired me to be the gypsy-tarot reader for her upcoming birthday party. I figure, if I'm going to get paid, I should at least brush up a little.
"Life Not Worth Living If You Not Take Risk" Brian, QAF
|Buh Bye! |
October 05, 2008
Be Afraid, People.... Really Afraid
One Last Bitchfest for the Road
Get the Popcorn Ready
I'm a Rich Ho-Bag
|Marriage is love.|